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My soul is tainted.

WELCOME TO HELL :: The Greyarchive requests page

By Gunstar Heroine

PLOT: -5/5 (When horny hopeless fanboys attack)
CHARACTERIZATION: 0/5 (As long as it SAYS so-and-so is screwing whoever, who cares?)
WRITING: 0/5 (They're almost as bad as the people who write the stuff)
LOSS OF FAITH IN HUMANITY: 15/5 (I feel dirty.)

SOOPER DOOPER UPDATE SPECTACULAR! We've been noticed! (copy and paste URL.) I feel so... special, maybe. While not as amusing as the Wild Lamb response, it's still an ironically funny read. The Bin Ladens of fanfiction hit again! (NOTE: That's US.)

My favorite part has to be when he asks people to "touch their bottons". I first I read that as "touch their bottoms," like they were requesting the authors to go all Schwarzenegger on us. XD

I also wonder why they never get as pissy when they get trashed on places like Something Awful and/or Portal of Evil. Oh well, you can't figure out the minds of these people.

Hellos. GH here to provide you with pain amusement whilst Leather Daddy is following up on the RPS stuff. We honestly didn't expect such a big turnout, so she's got her work really cut out for her. Remember, LD, you have nobody to blame but yourself. ^_-

Today's entry will also be different from the standard review. Instead, we'll be looking at part of a fic archive. Not just ANY fic archive, mind you...

If fanfiction.net is the Pit of Voles, then the best metaphor for the Greyarchive would be "The Evil Bottomless Swamp of Despair." For those of you who have (thankfully) never been there, the Greyarchive is a host for "erotic" fanfiction of many different persuasions, 99% of which is either mind-numbingly horrifying in content or contains a quality of writing that looks like the author was trying to type it all out as quickly as possible one-handed. Usually both.

The stuff on here ranges from the diamond-in-the-rough fic, which is actually readable and erotic, to the overwhelming majority of hideous crap. Where else on the web would you be able to find:

* Sailor Moon dickgirl epics ("Slutty Serenity")
* sadistic necrophiliac torture yarns featuring FFX's Lulu ("The Dam Breaks")
* Golden Axe ESL rapefic ("The Kidnapping of Tyris Flare")
* FF7 yuri fics that require a Rosetta Stone to read properly ("Tifa And Yuffie's 5 Nights of Passion" on the "older video game fics" page)
* Chrono Trigger orgies ("Tidings of Comfort and Joy" chapter 4, also on the older game fic page)
* The Little Mermaid sex slavery ("The Little Mermaid" found on the anime page), and
* La Blue Girl and Power Rangers Ninja Storm crossovers ("La Blue Storm")

Among many, many other things!

In fact, there's so much shit here it's almost impossible to pick out one single thing that would be scary enough for a review. So, we're not going to look at an actual completed fic today. Instead, we're going to be taking an extra special peek at one of the must stupifying portions of the whole mess - the Requests Page.

Prepare yourselves, folks, from here on, there's NO TURNING BACK.

When you fall into a bottomless pit, you die of starvation.Collapse )

*** ADDENDUM ***

Hey, Rebel Toy here. Administrative blather following this important announcement:


I'm playing bitchmommy today, and all of you need a fucking spanking. I'm not annoyed because we were spammed by dozens of anonymous posters, or because someone dared to disagree with our mighty opinions, or because we were laughed at in the GA forums. (Oh no! Our bitchy siteful of deviants was mocked by an even larger and more fucked up siteful of deviants!) No, chillens, I'm irritated because of the ridiculous amount of misunderstandings, misapprehensions, oversensitive whining, and personal accusations/insults I saw in the comments. Do you LIKE flamewars? So I'm going to clarify some things in an effort to restore the peace.

Simplified things for simple people.Collapse )

These replies have become far too long and you probably stopped reading several pages ago, so I'll end my rant by making this point: we don't care if people don't like us, or we get fandom_wanked, or whatever, so long as we were properly understood. Misunderstandings and lj_drama in our comments are very frustrating.

--rebel toy