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INVADER ZIM :: NEW FEELINGS
Ficbitches
ficbitches
"New Feelings"

Reviewed By Fubar Prelate (guest reviewer)


SCORE:
PLOT: 2/5 (It consists of four or five scenes, telegraphed plot developments, no twists whatsoever that can't be seen from a mile away.)
CHARACTERIZATION: 2/5 (Props for trying to reconcile IC personalities with a ludicrously OOC relationship.)
WRITING: 2/5 (Plenty of punctuation; just all the wrong ones in all the wrong places, is all.)
COMPLETE DISREGARD FOR COMPLETE AND UTTER VIOLENT HATRED BETWEEN CHARACTERS: 7/5

This, indeed, is a grand experiment.

Quite simply: I am MALE. As far as the FicBitches know (or can remember), I am the first guy ever to write a guest review for this site. There have been many speculations as to whether this sort of thing could work. (Ninety percent of those speculations have been from me.) As a guy -- a guy who is definitely not a fan of slash pairings -- could I objectively write a review of a story centering around it, without resorting to the typical "ewwww slash bad" reaction that some might expect? More to the point, can I seriously exude the sort of bitterness and cynicism required to contribute to FicBitches?

Let's find out. If I fail, this will never be posted, and y'all can go about your lives, blissfully unaware of my catastrophic failure.


The story I have chosen to rend limb from limb is a little ditty entitled "New Feelings". Wow. Somebody help me. I'm already reeling from the sheer creativity of it all. It's a fairly short Invader ZIM slash romance fic, between ZIM and Dib. Nothing too graphic, because I didn't want to scald my virgin eyes too soon. The author starts with a nice little warning:

Ok just be warned this is YAOI, (male + male)!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Could I make it clearer?! Everyone: Um..... no we got it ^^;;

The first line, and she's already putting words in everyone's mouth. Then again, how could we not get it, with all those exclamation points? It's a proven fact that the more exclamation points you add to the end of a sentence, the more your point gets across. For example, Dubya was recently quoted as saying, "Saddam is BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!1!" and the next day the entire UN Security Council voted to cut Iraq out of the ground and launch it towards Jupiter. You see? Exclamation points work, folks!

She then goes on to remark:

Ok well if you don't like it please don't read it, kay? Ok well no one belongs to me...... or I would put Zim and Dib together FOREVER!!!!!! BWAHAHAH!! Er... um you probably know the couple now ^^;; well enjoy!

Oops. Sorry, folks. I have to stop this review now. The author told me so.

Actually, it's quite a good thing no one belongs to the author. Jhonen Vasquez agrees, as seen in the following snippet from an IRC interview with him:

JhnenV: Hmm..fanfic stuff? They have some pretty twisted ideas, some that I've seen.
JhnenV: They have ZIM and Dib falling in love ideas.
JhnenV: That makes me ill.
JhnenV: ill to my belly.
JhnenV: My ill-prone belly.

Before I go on, I should get all my tiny anal-retentive writing gripes off my chest. You've probably heard all these a dozen times in a dozen different fic reviews, so I might as well cover them all right now. So here we go:

"Okay" is not spelled "Ok", nor is it spelled "kay". There is no worldwide shortage of commas; use them. Likewise, exclamation points are not herd animals. "Himself" is not two words. Ellipses have three dots in them, not two, not four, and using them every other sentence makes it sound like your characters are randomly going catatonic. To / two / too, dammit. "Yeah" is not spelled "Yea"; "Yea" is what you say if you're tallying a vote in the British House of Commons. Finally (although this one is really nitpicky), Irken names are always spelled in capitals; it's "ZIM", not "Zim".

Now then... the story starts with Ms. Bitters' class going on a field trip to the nature park. Dib "accidentally" falls forwards, pushing ZIM, and the two land "on opposite sides facing each other, while stuck in between the door opening". That was quite a fall, landing on opposite sides of insert missing object here. I can just envision it. Wait... no, I can't.

Dib is naturally mad at ZIM for getting in the way of his trip to the ground:

"Hey get out of my way ALIEN SCUM!" Dib yelled as he struggled to free him self from the position.
"HA! You got noooooo proof, NO PROOF AT ALL HAHA!" Zim yelled back. Dib scowled and walked off towards the group.
"Why did I do that again?! Every time I see him I just HAVE to insult him!" Dib thought as he caught up to the group.


Here, we learn that all of this time that Dib has been insulting ZIM, he hasn't actually meant to! Awwww! It's wike a widdle schoolyard cwush, where the boy kicks the shins of the, um, other boy, but it really means he likes him! In fact, every time someone picked on you as a kid, it meant that person loved you. It's true! That schoolyard bully was such a playa.

Naturally, Herr Plotvorrichtung pokes his head in and ensures that Ms. Bitters sticks ZIM and Dib together on the trip:

"Zim, Dib! You two will work together!" Ms. Bitters commanded them.
(A/N: You saw that coming didn't ya? :)


Ack! Fourth wall... broken... bricks... everywhere. There are times when the narrator can talk directly to the audience. This isn't one of them. I'm sorry, but you do not interrupt your story to insert a little humorous chuckle here or there. I can see it now: "Sam fell on his knees, trembling. 'Get up, Sam!' said Gandalf. 'I have thought of something better than that. Something to shut your mouth, and punish you properly for listening. You shall go away with Mr. Frodo!' (A/N: OMG you saw that coming didn't ya? :) Tho I'm sure I could think of better punishments! ;)"

Ms. Bitters announces that the class will go on a scavenger hunt, adding some perfunctory uses of the word "doomed". ZIM then stares at Dib:

Zim found himself staring at Dib "Why does he look so tense? Oh, I wonder what's troubling him, still he looks kind cute.... er-- I mean horrible! His head is big and.........." Zim thinks as he continues to stare at Dib.

"I have never shown any romantic feelings whatsoever to anyone, except to TAK, and even then I was faking it to try and conquer the planet, but suddenly I think my mortal enemy is a big fuzzyhead!" Mm-hmm. Yup. Ms. Bitters issues some warning about not losing their map, or they'll be "DOOMED". Herr Plotvorrichtung is joined by Señor Presagio.

The angsting continues as ZIM and Dib trudge along through the forest, with Dib eventually choking out a compliment towards ZIM's backpack. ZIM, with his foul mouth, utters the word "gosh". But then, I guess "stinking fetid pile of human FFFFFILTH" would've killed the mood.

Finally, they arrive at a waterfall. Hola, Señor Presagio! ¿Que pasa? Note that, apparently, this waterfall cascades down into a crystal-clear insert body of water here.

"Epp!" Zim yelled as he saw the massive water falling down.

Epp? The types of misspellings authors miss in their fanfics never fail to amaze me. The fact that someone can misspell "eep" -- and, furthermore, not catch it before posting the story to the Internet -- probably shouldn't surprise me at this point, but it does. I'm obviously not jaded enough to be a true FicBitch. ("Or FicBastard." -- Rebel Toy)

"Oh.... what's the matter Zim, afraid of a little water?" Dib smirked.
"N-no! Of course not-- yea......" Zim hung his head in shame as to be defeated.


This actually pisses me off more than the entire alleged relationship between the two. ZIM would never admit defeat, under any circumstances, especially not to Dib. But I'll give the author the benefit of the doubt, and say that the "new feelings" are causing him to falter.

"Aw..... fine I'll get the stuff for the hunt, you just stay here" Dib told Zim.
"Your not gonna try to push me in or anything?!" Zim said surprised.
"Um uhhh" Dib started.
"So you are!" Zim yelled.
"I wasn't going to!"
"Yes you were!"
"WAS NOT!"
"WAS TOO!"


In truly cinematic fashion, the two move closer to the waterfall while arguing. Wait, what? They're not pushing each other, or fighting each other, they're just shouting and walking at the same time. The author probably wanted to convey the image of ZIM approaching Dib as they fought, with Dib backing up, but I just got the image of the two doing an odd sideways shuffle-step as they fought. Argumentative line-dancing. Dib trips on the rock he was standing on (which we are just made aware of at this point), flails his limbs comically (in my mind's-eye, anyway), and falls into the insert body of water here. It's a deep unnamed geological feature, too. The unladen (as far as we know) Dib sinks, in complete contradiction to the laws of physics, but Herr Plotvorrichtung is powerful indeed. Maybe his overcoat is lined with lead.

"DIB!" Zim yelled. He watched helplessly as Dib struggled to stay afloat, Zim didn't want to see Dib get hurt.... But Zim couldn't he would burn up right away.... Dib sank under the water "DIB! Well.... here goes nothing...." Zim said to himself as he dived into the water.

Okay. Let's count the number of times that ZIM has tried to kill or otherwise eliminate Dib, shall we? He has pushed Dib off a fence into a yard of ravenous pit-bulls; invaded him microscopically in an attempt to lobotomize him; stalked him in an attempt to steal all of his organs; dropped a water balloon roughly the size of Phobos on him; launched him (and his classmates) into a wormhole (toward the Room with a MOOSE!); altered his past with rubber piggies in an attempt to eliminate him from existence; hypnotized him with a giant zit named Pustulio; attempted to turn him inside-out; turned him into bologna; trapped him in a cage with an angry monkey; piloted Mars in an attempt to pulverize him; piloted a giant Eva lookalike in another attempt to pulverize him; and a few more things that I'm sure I've missed. Naturally, then, ZIM's first reaction to seeing Dib sink like a stone is to jump in, at serious risk to his own life, and save him.

ZIM manages to locate Dib, who has his coat stuck under a rock, which apparently fell after he did and just happened to land on his coat, trapping him. ZIM manages to pull Dib out of the water before burning to death. Having "heard of a thing called CPR when GIR was watching TV," he decides to perform it. Call me crazy, but trusting anything that was on TV when GIR was watching it seems just a tad risky, wouldn't you say? Given the attention span of that robot, I'd imagine ZIM would think CPR was to lay the victim down, scream about crazy tacos, stare at an angry monkey, and finally smear zit cream on your face. But that doesn't matter, because CPR provides the opportunity for Justified Slash Kissing.

Dib wakes up right before ZIM goes to town, and realizes that ZIM saved him from drowning:

"Why?" Dib asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, since your kinda my rival, why would you want to save me, and you being an alien who wants to rain doom on planet earth?"
"Well.... um--" Zim was tongue tied. "Um well I just didn't want to um... actually SEE someone die, er you know"


...says the alien who shot chickens into the sun, and watched a giant mutant hamster of his own making stomp on hundreds of folks.

After hiking Just Far Enough Away, Dib realizes that he left the map at the waterfall, and on cue, it begins to rain. They decide they have to build a shelter for the night, because of ZIM's "water thing". Because, you see, diving into a body of water to rescue someone is okay, but falling raindrops spell out instant death. It's here that the love confession takes place.

"Quickly, get in!" Dib and Zim dived into the shelter, but it was kind of small for them so they were squished together. Seeing this Zim blushed, until his face was bright red, he looked over into a puddle to see his faced was red.
"AH! My face is red!" Zim yelled scared.
Dib laughed "Your just blushing, it's when your embarrassed or when your in-- er...." Dib started but stopped himself.
"In what?" Zim asked "In a house, in a coma, in doom?!" Zim asked.
"Um....er" Dib hesitated, he was worried that Zim would find out how he felt about him.
"IN WHAT?!" Zim asking frustrated now.
"IN LOVE!" Dib yelled at the top of his lungs.
"O-oh" Zim looked down and thought "Could I be in love?"


Ignoring the complete lunacy of this pairing, I'm awfully disappointed here. There are no butterflies in stomachs, no hearts pounding, no cold sweats, no lightheadedness. Just some blushing. Which, of course, would be pretty difficult to see in a dark shelter underneath a storm cloud. There's a five minute silence, and then the two go to sleep. Thank goodness. In the hands of a more disturbed author, this is where the "exploration" would've gone. Then, in the morning, we get this shocking revelation:

Ever since he saw Zim he had loved him, thinking it would cover up his feelings, Dib pretended to chase after Zim to prove he was an alien, but in reality he truly loved him.

(A/N: Sorry! ^^; For all you ppls out there yelling at me for saying that (maybe ^^;) But that's just what I think)


Very well. You are entitled to your own opinion, Random Interrupting Author's Voice. Perhaps Dib also loved the vampires, werewolves, sasquatches and chupacabras he chased after. Oh, but wait, those episodes never happened, because they didn't involve ZIM. And how do you explain his attempt to expose ZIM on "Mysterious Mysteries"? Or to his class? If the whole "alien exposé" thing was just a front, why was he trying to convince others of it all the damned time? Why was he gloating over ZIM's lab-tortured body in "Dib's Wonderful Life of Doom"? Shouldn't he have been weeping the sweet tears of the uke for his lost love? (No, no, no. I will not be drawn into a hypothetical debate over who would be which.) I'm sorry, but no matter which way you slice it, I simply cannot find an adequate justification for this pairing. If you can, more power to you.

So Dib confesses his love, Zim confesses his love, there's a hint at a joke involving Almighty Tallest Purple and Red (finally, the first laugh of the review that wasn't laden with pain), and Ms. Bitters yells for them. Finally, there's the author's last note:

Awwwwwww!!!!!!! I LOVE IT ILOVEIT I-er sorry ^^;; I'm just happy cause I made a good romance fic! (Well I think ^^;;;) Well it was kinda sappy and fluffy ^^; PLEASE REVIEW!! I BEG OF YOU *gets on hands and knees* PLLLLLLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!?!?! *gets up* Er sorry ^^; But I worked kinda hard on this ^^; and well I just NEED reviews ^^ Well till next time seeya!

I don't think you need this sort of review. After all, it contains more criticism than bootlicking, and those kinds of reviews are baaaaaaad. This was a self-serving fic, written because it's what the author would like to see, and only posted on the Net for the purpose of ego gratification. (Much like this review.) I give the author points for trying to work some semblance of canon into the relationship, but there's simply not enough there. Slightly (and only slightly) more likely would be some sort of incredibly significant event that got the two together, such as an incredibly powerful mutual enemy, that would force them to work together. You can't just take their current character dynamic and claim that it's just misdirected love, because their mutual hatred is just too vicious to pass it off as such.

Finally, in closing, I have to correct what one enraged review recipient had to say about FicBitches. FicBitches is not the "bin Laden of fanfic reviewers", I'm sorry to say. FicBitches is the Simon Cowell of fanfic reviewers: mean and hated by many, but deadly honest. If you can't handle it, then don't step up to the nationally-broadcast stage that is the Internet.


Hmmmm.... I have to say Good Job! I liked that fact that you're basing your opinion on canonical evidence and not your own personal feelings towards slash. The truth is you have a good point. ZIM and Dib spent the majority of the series trying to either kill or expose each other so suddenly realizing they have Twue Luv is a tad hard to swallow.

>>Actually, it's quite a good thing no one belongs to the author. Jhonen Vasquez agrees, as seen in the following snippet from an IRC interview with him:
JhnenV: Hmm..fanfic stuff? They have some pretty twisted ideas, some that I've seen.
JhnenV: They have ZIM and Dib falling in love ideas.
JhnenV: That makes me ill.
JhnenV: ill to my belly.
JhnenV: My ill-prone belly.>>

I just have to chime in here, you'll forgive if I don't take this too seriously. Especially when a few minutes later he talks about how cool it would be to create a toy GIR that will chase children while screaming at them.


Icz

This is Jhonen. You don't thing he really wants a GIR toy that chases children while it screams at them?

...heck, I want that toy.

JhnenV: They have ZIM and Dib falling in love ideas.
JhnenV: That makes me ill.
JhnenV: ill to my belly.
JhnenV: My ill-prone belly.


Hmm, think he could beat that into the ground some more? :P Jeez.

>>Hmm, think he could beat that into the ground some more? :P Jeez.>>

Like I said I would take a guy who uses terms like 'ill-prone belly' to seriously.


Icz


Yaaaay, update! I can't be mad if there's an update!
Well, that said, I have to agree that ZIM/Dib slash is kinda icky. And I'm a slash fangirl. Dunno, I like some rivalslash... but these two, well... I guess you said it best, huh? Makes this kinda pointless. Oh well. I am pointless.

-
I-chan

a fanfare for the ficbastard guest thing. i approve.

...edger/nny has a stronger canon support than ZIM and dib..yeesh

Thank you, guesting manbitch. Even as a long-time slasher, I'm going to side with you, Jhonen and Jhonen's belly on this one ;)

I wonder what the need is for so many fanficcers to stomp out all the tension in the original work anyway, especially when it's what drives the story. Somewhere out there on the web there is Coyote/Road Runner slash, I just know it.

Somewhere out there on the web there is Coyote/Road Runner slash, I just know it.

O.o

...damn. Now you've gotten me all curious. ^_^

But which would be the uke?

-- Koshiroryuu

(no subject) (Anonymous) Expand
You make a good point (Anonymous) Expand
Having a best friend who's a Zim addict, I've gotten exposed to this series enough to know my way around it, but not very much so. Still, even I could point out the holes. My first instinct was simply to say, "with any other pairing, in any other universe, this fic (i.e. its structure, etc.) might not be so bad."

Then I scanned the fic for myself and noticed that Fubar merely printed its few intelligible paragraphs in his review. The rest is pure, unformatted, grammar-devoid gabbagabbahey. I mean, cripes, I truly got lost trying to read this thing. Pain.

Wow, it's so amazing how easily things can turn into "love" these days, especially without reasoning to back it up. I mean, not even "kinda like" or "might have feelings for" or any of that preliminary stuff. (sighs) Invader Zim rivalslash. Will the world ever learn.

(Tune in next week when ZIM uses a thesaurus to finally find the words to express HOW HE REALLY FEELS. But does Dib really LOVE HIM BACK? Zim/Dib slash (even though by saying this in my summary I completely gave away my fic)! Plz r+r!!!)

(hits head on desk upon seeing the pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea for revieeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwws~~)

Anyways, a great big "hi there" to the first FicBastard ever. Great job. So good, in fact, I'll even forgive the American Idol reference. -_^

- The Fandom Ranger

I sincerely apologize for the reference to Simon; my wife has drawn me into the show, and I justify it by telling myself it's not really a reality show, just an overproduced talent competition. But seriously, when it comes down to it, Simon is the best comparison. He's really the "SongBitch" of that show.

And, for the record, I'd like to point out that my reaction to slash isn't one of revulsion, by any means; it's just not my cup of tea. (One can't be revolted by slash yet have the friends I do. It's simply not possible. ^^;) But, in the end, that doesn't matter; my review would've been exactly the same if Dib were a female paranoid conspiracy nut. You just don't take two mortal enemies, and *poof* make them love each other without some serious attitude-altering event occurring first.

Perhaps, in the future, I'll do something a bit more disturbing. I very nearly reviewed a far worse ZIM/Dib story -- a rapefic -- but decided it was just a tad too much for me to handle just then. But for the future... who knows...

-- Fubar Prelate

Hey! (Anonymous) Expand

To be honest, this is one of those pairings that I had never given any thought to...mostly because my brain shied away from the idea before it ever manifested as anything more than a subconscious notion. ^^; But now that I've been forced to think about it, I have to agree with Mr. FicBastard here and say that I don't see how it could work! It's not just the fact that they are *cues echoing voice* Mortal Enemies, and that Dib is obsessed with exposing ZIM; what frightens me here is that Dib is in grade school! Grade School! No matter how much of a mini-genius he may be, he's still pre-pubescent.

I think at that age 'love' meant sharing a homemade cupcake with some kid at lunch.

IckIckSquick. >.< It's like the ChibiUsa/Hotaru pairings. It might have some merit if you play with Time and age them ten years or so, but Not. When. They're. Three. Feet. Tall.

Thank God the 'exploration' bit never occurred to this author. *brain threatens to unhinge at the very possibility of childlike gropage*


Re: *shudder*

(Anonymous)
You know, it seriously disturbs me to realize that I hadn't even considered the age factor. Maybe it's just because it's so prevalent in anime and manga (and doujinshi and fanfic) to totally ignore the age factor, owing to the giant lolicon that the entire nation of Japan seems to have. Or maybe because, regardless of the actual age of the characters, the humor in ZIM is just so quirky and ageless, it's easy for me to forget that they still go to "Skool".

I have the sad duty of reporting that the 'exploration' bit did occur to at least one author, though -- a story that I very nearly chose instead of this one to review, but shirked away from how graphic it was. I may go ahead and torture y'all with it in the future, if I can get up the constitution to do so.

-- Fubar Prelate

*sighes* As soon as I saw that you were reviewing a Z/D fic I just knew it was going to be one of hers. She's a sorta friend of mine (we only talk occasionally, but enough that we're on friendly terms) and she's a really sweet kid, but could never bring myself to tell her that she really needs to at the very least get a beta-reader and preferably not release any more fics until she can come up with better ideas.

Though, to her credit she's only thirteenish. I wrote my first few fics at around that age and they were much worse. Hopefully she'll get better with age.

Ahahahahaha wow, it's kind of funny that I have no clue who you are anymore.

Yeah!

(Anonymous)
"Yeah" is not spelled "Yea"; "Yea" is what you say if you're tallying a vote in the British House of Commons.

Thank God I'm not the only one who is irritated by this. I was starting to doubt that "yeah" was actually the correct spelling, because I NEVER see it spelled correctly on the internet.

Washington Irving

Re: Yeah!

(Anonymous)
Actually, you *could* use the spelling "yea" if it is clear that the person talking either has a slight Brooklyn or is slurring and adding a little nasality just to be annoying.

~Jackal^^v

Very Good!

(Anonymous)
Oh, dear GOD! Thank you for mentioning the whole 'yea' business, I thought I was going insane because I've always written it 'yeah'.
But that's not my main point here, I really like your review and I think you would make a fine ficbitch... er... ficbastard. Also, I took a look at the original fic and... it was gruesome. But you made some good points and I think that if the authors read your reviews they would (not only be outraged and probably commit suicide) learn something, and maybe put your *cough* constructive *cough* criticism to good use. I am a very big Jhonen Vasquez fan (though, not to the point of obsession... yet...) and have yet to see someone imitate his style (be it fanart OR fanfiction) with any real success because it is so, well, unique. Your knowledge of Invader ZIM is highly impressive, I commend you. Good luck with future reviewing, I look forward to it!
~Zev~

Re: Very Good!

(Anonymous)
a pedant writes:
in Westminster (here in britain) approval of a bill is signified by the declaiming of the word "aye" (pronounced like "eye" but means yes) . The word "yea" is sometimes used by our quaint and charming town criers who wander the streets clanging their bell shouting "hear yea" corrupted to "oyez" (pronounced "oh-yay") before making announcements useful to the stout yeomanry of our boroughs. In this context it means "you".
On a different subject, I would have thought that half the fun and thrill of reading slash featuring unusual or off-canon love affairs was the sheer unlikelyness of it, or seeing the hatred transformed into romance. As an IZ slash fan i must say that i do find a lot of it just unintentionally hilarious. I also agree with the need for reasonable spelling and grammar - htese things are supposed to be a *pleasure* to read!

Re: Very Good! (Anonymous) Expand
*applause*

FicBastard, you impress me. I know most guys are rather twitchy about slash--for that matter, I as a woman am a bit twitchy about yuri, & I'm actually supposed to be bisexual so you'd think that wouldn't matter--but you bashed this fic because it was ridiculous crap that would NEVER HAPPEN rather than because it was two guys being mushy. I don't know if I could get over my own anti-yuri bias to review a similar fic, like a Mrs. Bitters/Gaz fic(gods forfend).

Plus, you're funny. You made reading what small snippets of the fic were to be seen in your review bearable.

My only complaint, if I have a complaint at all--with the whole grammar/spelling complaints at the beginning, you forgot to mention the issue of people substituting numbers for words(2 = to, 4 = for, etcetera), or people using one letter to represent a word that sounds the same(U = you, R = are, etcetera ad nauseam). These are issues that must be addressed...but maybe they just didn't show up in this fic.

-Callisto

Oh God. ZIM/Dib slash? Now, I adore slash, but Invader ZIM slash? No. You have courage, sir, to wade into this filth and give it such a thorough, unbiased, canon-based review. I applaud you. You should definitely do more reviews for this place - we'd all love you for it.

Jen / Quoth the Raven

Rivalslash

(Anonymous)
The sick thing about rivalslash is that it actually works, in some cases. Far more often, though, the tension is there but will NEVER be acknowledged. Take Sano and Saitouh for example. They have tons of UST, and Sano does admit to caring about him (the end of the Kyoto Arc) but they're both way too proud to ever say anything about it to anyone. If they admitted to having feelings for eachother, it would be a sign of the apocalypse.



-Jackal

Or you can lock them in a room together, let them beat the crap out of each other, then watch the testosterone unleash in furious rampant sex......


....man, has anyone written that yet?

=P

*Yes! There is sex without love! I even slashed hogan's heroes once with that premise.....what's a little dry-humping between friends?*

Re: Rivalslash (Anonymous) Expand
WHOO! Boy do I ever have to jump in on this one. Too bad I'm so late, this probably won't get seen. Oh well.

Since I see a decided lack of it, I'm going to first state my deep and unhealthy love for ZIM/Dib. Preferably Sadist*ZIM/Masochist*Dib. Yes, the relationship's fooked up. Yes, it would never in a million years happen canonically. Yes, they should be aged first (despite Dib's maturity, he's about 11 years old for cryin' out loud) O_o.

My problem with this is everyone's refusal to accept the pairing, seemingly based solely on a few extremely badly written fics. I'll be the first to admit the ZIM fandom is absolutely crawling with them (truthfully I think the bad gen and het fics outnumber the bad slash ones though. If I see one more Invader Sue or Agent Mary I'm going to scream.) But this fandom has also produced some of the best written fics I have had the privilege of reading, and most of them were ZIM/Dib. Read any slash by Niko, Amethyst Soul, Mouko, Idgiebay, JRandomLurker, and perhaps you might change your mind, at least on the fanfic aspect of the pairing's possibilities. I, and many other writers, do our best to keep them as IC as possible, and always give them motivations and reasons behind their sweet, sweet luvin' [snicker]. All I'm saying is try us, you might like us!

That being said, onto the other elements of this review. I really enjoyed it, and was hoping the ficbitches got a hold of one of the aforementioned bloody awful fics that make up about 80% of the fandom now. Your comments on grammar/plot(I use the term loosely)/spelling/characterization (again, loosely)/etc. is really dead on, and amusing at the same time. You prove that guys can be bitches too! Er...proved your worth as a FicBastard, heh. Great job, A plus, and other words of praise!

I was waiting for someone to say this. IMO, the ONLY way for ZIM and Dib to ever be in a relationship is if it's a sadistic/masochistis one.

mmm. A question to ponder...

Dib will grow. Zim will not. Now, being as this is the kinda fic where they start with the blushing and the schoolgirl antics and shit after freely amditting the entire series was just a blind, and the diving into water to save a mortal enemy rather than just pulling up a seat on the rocks with a poop juice to enjoy the show...

...but I digress...

I think it's safe to assume this author would see it as eternal and twuuu wuuuve....

So what happens when dib grows up? I can see it now

Dib: ...
Zim: ...
Dib: Need a stool?
Zim: ...yes...