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We're baaaaaaaaack
Ficbitches
ficbitches
In a sense; I finally crawled out from under my 70-hour workweek and checked our gmail account, only to discover that nobody had checked it for about six months. We're horrible people.

To my joy, however, I found several guest reviews that I will promptly slap up here while I continue gouging out my eyes with this fic. I'm working on a review as I speak...no, seriously! Why are you all laughing? Even better, one of the reviews is by someone we'd previously sporked, so we've got proof that you can have a sense of humor about this. After all, people, it's just the internet.

~ Leather Daddy




Greetings, all. I'm Rann. You may remember me as the author of the fic that Leather Daddy reviewed here... and then you may say "What the hell, freak?! FicBitches reviewed your twisted fic, you're supposed to hate them more than someone with John Kerry's face tattooed on their pelvis hates George Bush! What are you doing submitting a guest review?!"

Well, that would be because I love FicBitches. I've loved them ever since I discovered them via the review of "Pop Goes the Ranma". Hell, I love the review of that, I thought it was pretty damn funny. That fic is something that I'M amazed I wrote, something I just sort of grin and shake my head at... I'm still not ashamed at it, just a little bemused that I wrote it at all, it feels like reading someone else's work.

But my point is, there's anything but hard feelings, and FicBitches has been quiet for far too long.

Now, rather than go trolling for some pour soul's fanfic to jump all over, I thought I'd indulge in a different activity I rather enjoy... cruising FF.net not for bad fanfics, but bad fanfic summaries. Often, the summary is the most jaw-dropping, head-shaking, please-end-my-suffering part of the whole thing. And let's face it... just hitting the summaries appeals to that low attention span in all of us. It also saves one the utter and pure agony of wanting to claw their eyes out at the fic's actual writing, and merely provides that soothing migraine of horror at the simple concept of the fic.

Generally, the best thing to do is hit a fairly small fandom, one that only has a couple of pages of fics, so you can roll through one entire sucky fandom at a go. I did this with Carmen Sandiego fandom, a small show with a surprising number of fics, almost all of them conforming to the horrible fanfiction stereotypes that you'd really expect of a much larger, much crazier fandom.

So, let's try and pick our fandom today, shall we? We need something with a suitable number of fics, probably somewhere between fifty and a hundred, give a few dozen. Anime fandom is a little too easy, and we almost EXPECT all this stuff from it. It's much more fun when the very concept of it makes your teeth grind. So, in that spirit and in hopes of destroying a few childhoods, let's hit the "Cartoon" section.

Aladdin? Too many. (Though morbid curiosity almost compells anyway.) Alvin and the Chipmunks? Sure to be scary, but a bit too few. Chip 'n' Dale's Rescue Rangers...? ... So tempting, right number, but then we'd likely just be harping on all the Gadget fics. Ah... AH! Perfect!

Mummies Alive!.

A little-known, weekday-morning nineties show, Mummies Alive! featured the adventures of four mummies with magic armor, martial arts, and cool vehicles protecting their reincarnated Pharaoh. It's like a wonderful list of all that's wacky and stereotypical about American cartoons, but despite that, it was still a FUN series, and I cursed every single day that I was forced to leave in the middle of it to go to school. The characters were amusing, the character DESIGN was cool, and overall it's one of those things you think back to and say "Heh... that was great."
Let's see if we can destroy that feeling in 89 fics or less, shall we?



1. The Egyptian Prince meets Harry Potter by Bonnie4 reviews

  A Harry Potter/Mummies Alive Crossover. Will Presley learn who his is Grandfather? Also learn to live with his new life?
  G - English - General - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3289 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 9-1-04 - Published: 4-20-03


Because who doesn't need some Harry Potter in their lives? Seriously, what is this compulsion to have EVERYTHING cross over with Harry Potter? I can understand the desire, to a certain extent. Harry Potter is certainly a neat series, but it doesn't fit with everything under the sun. It certainly doesn't properly mingle with a series set in San Francisco featuring hot-rodding mummies.
This fic obviously also suffers from the desire, sometimes plausible, most times flabbergasting, to have characters from the different serieses related by blood. Ranma Saotome and Ataru Moriboshi? Plausible. But five bucks says that Presley's grandpa turns out to be either Dumbledore or a Potter. Not so plausible. In fact, rather ridiculous.
Oh dear. It's only the very first fic, and already they've gotten their Harry Potter in my obscure fandom. This does not bode well.

4. Claws of Shadows (Co-Writer Trynia) by Jadej.j reviews

  Joshua Blade (fan character from Mummies Alive) must deal with his family's past that has to deal with a Female Gargoyle
  PG - English - Action/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 31824 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 8-12-04 - Published: 12-31-00


And by fic number four, we've completely discarded the actual characters, are focusing on Gary Stus created for the series, and are crossing over with other cartoons to get said Gary Stu a hot and exotic girlfriend.
My faith in humanity usually doesn't take this hard a hit unless I'm reading "News of the Weird". Just... what? Why? Is it an elaborate spoof? Surely no one would actually make up an OC called "Joshua Blade" and expect him to be seen as anything other than a blatant self-insert. If I actually look in this fic, what am I going to find? The Mummies crowing over how great Joshua is, Presley wishing he could be just like him, and Joshua thanking them humbly before heading off to bang Garg-babes? Well, I'm not going to look.
...
... Fuck, I looked.
It starts off with Vikings. -Vikings-. This non-sequitor leads in to writing that tries, very hard, to seem grim and mysterious, with Joshua as this cool, tortured hero who is in command of himself and everything around him. It fails. These attempts miraculously manage to seem both too clipped and short and to drag on ridiculously. I'm sure this fic, by itself, could make a great FicBitches review, but my short attention span lazily calls me back to the summaries.

5. Why Not Me? by SnowChaser reviews

  In my usual angsty style, a monologue of sad proportions goes on, silently, unbidden and unprevented in the mind. Evolved from a fanfic written for my little cousin.
  PG - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 941 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-10-04 - Published: 7-10-04


One barely knows where to begin. I would say that the fic likely is, as he says, of sad proportions, and it will likely be unbidden in going on in your mind. But also, I love that this LJbunny-esque rant of angst and darkness is written for his or her rather young cousin. "Here you go, little Billy! I know you wanted a new skateboard for your birthday, but I wrote you an angstfic for Mummies Alive! instead." "... Wow. Um, thanks."

6. Lost power, Lost love by AeronAi reviews

  I had a dream about this last year Oo; I miss the show
  PG - English - Romance/Action/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1678 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 6-7-04 - Published: 6-7-04


Don't you love summaries like this? Tells you so much about the fic. They had a DREAM! The fic perhaps contains a mummy standing before a crowd of other mummies, declaring that one day, little live children and little dead children will play together in harmony? ... I think I might read that.

8. Of Vows and Promises by IshTara reviews

  Nefertina thinks she's lost everything. But has she? Nefertina and Ja-Kal Romance
  G - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4626 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 5-8-04 - Published: 5-8-04


Yes, she's lost everything, including her major internal organs.
I mean, come on, people. We know that some of the mummies have angst about not being able to lead a normal life, it's addressed in the show itself. (Which was one of the things that actually made it stand out a bit amidst all the other meaningless crap cartoon shows.) But somehow I just can't see any of them breaking down and shouting the equivalent of "OMG I HAVE TEH NOTHING! I WANT 2 DIE (again)!" and needing to be comforted out of it. They all accepted their fate because protecting their Pharaoh meant that much to them... having one of them angst endlessly about losing everything is like Sailor Senshi moping about their lost normal lives because of their obligation to serve their Princess. Sure, maybe for a paragraph or so, but when you start going on and on, it stops being good fic and starts being one of the whinier episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

10. The Pharaoh's Cousin by LadySnape13 reviews

  Presley is about finds out about cousin he never knew he had. However, this cousin has a connection to Presley’s ancient spirit. Will this be a good thing or will destroy everthing?
  G - English - General/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 380 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 12-13-03 - Published: 12-13-03


And more Gary Stu/Mary Sue fic. Good night. When I thought it might be like this, it was kind of a joke... I mean, I'd been through the Carmen Sandiego one and saw how bad such an obscure fandom could be in hitting so many horrible cliches, but Carmen Sandiego had the supporting series of games and is still being rerun in some places. But... but...

11. Wolves of Canaan by Mecha Duck reviews

  The first part of a series. The staff and ring of two Canaanite brothers, killed in Egypt, come alive in their descendent and threaten the existence of Presley and the Mummies!
  PG - English - Supernatural/General - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5309 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 11-25-03 - Published: 8-29-03


Just look at it. Just LOOK. They're not just Mary Sues... they're BADASS Mary Sues. They're butt-whooping, weapon-wielding, war-whooping Mary Sues. They're Mary Sues on the warpath. Mary Sues on a MISSION. These are the Mary Sues the Harry Potter fandom was snorting at and kicked out.

12. The Dark Cobra Saga by Ner'ual Say'lar reviews

  Chapter 2: I'll put a spell on you.... The mummies are called out when Scarab attacks the museum... and put his plan into action... MM slash stuff going on in first and later chappies... you have been 4 warned...
  G - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6114 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 11-8-03 - Published: 3-30-03


Not just living dead sex... LIVING DEAD YAOI SEX! This review is officially not a waste! I have found teh mummypr0n, and it is GAY! But, luckily, we are not only warned, not even doubly warned, but warned four times over. Lucky, eh?

13. The Princess Of Priceless Beauty by GambitsJami reviews

  Presley will soon be 13 years old which means this is Scarab's last chance. Can a reincarnated princess put an end to Scarab?
  PG-13 - English - Action/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3674 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 11-7-03 - Published: 11-7-03


C'mon. Now you're not even TRYING, Mary.

15. Get a Life by Requiem Hearts reviews

  Scarab's got problems; BIG problems and his withering health is not even the sum of it. Soul-sucking fiends, Mistaken Identities, Dead Overloads and classic mummy antics abound! What more can you expect in a MA fiction?
  PG - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1387 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 10-18-03 - Published: 10-18-03


I dunno. Quality? Appeal? Proper capitalization?

16. IT'S BACK ON THE AIR! by Mainstream Soveriegn reviews

  CHECK YOUR LOCAL LISTINGS 'CAUSE IT'S BACK!
  G - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 121 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 9-29-03 - Published: 9-29-03


Well. Guess I was wrong. It IS still being rerun. And Fanfiction.net is now TV Guide.
(Funny, I once put up a fic of my personal character giving a speech after 9/11. Yeah, corny, sappy, and probably stupid, I know. But it was an emotional time, I had a lot to say, and I said it from the heart through that. It was deleted within twenty-four hours for not being a proper fanfic, and I was temp-banned. This thing's been up for almost five months. I love FF.net, I really do.)

17. Elemental Guardian SagaCo Writer Sohkarra by Trynia Merin reviews

  A new forensic scientist working on mummies for Amanda at the Museum, encounters the mummies and her own destiny as a Guardian
  PG - English - Action/Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 87101 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 9-27-03 - Published: 9-27-03


The Mary Sues keep on rollin' in, from every angle. Pretty soon, there won't be a single person in Presley's life who isn't a bad-ass fighter with their own animal spirit armor and whoopass car.

18. The DamiaTrynia Chronicles by Trynia Merin reviews

  Damia, property of Damia is the fox guardian and she has a secret. Amanda Xrays an ancient mummy to find she's actually a cyborg mummy!
  PG - English - Action/Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 5 - Words: 52725 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 9-19-03 - Published: 9-19-03


At this point, the me that's about a decade or so younger started bawling, punching me, and accusing me of trying to kill it by reading through these summaries. I stood there, shell-shocked, unable to find it in me to refute the poor thing.

19. The Rath of Two Princesses by Trynia Merin reviews

  Rath awakens a new mummy to fight an ancient princess, Kara, who wants to take over the world and destroy Prince Rapses
  PG-13 - English - Fantasy/Action/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 43710 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 9-19-03 - Published: 9-19-03


So here we have Evil Sue and Good Sue, no doubt destined to fight to the death while the rest of the cast stands about gasping in awe like the extras in a DBZ parody. And my ears are bleeding. I press forward... perhaps my sacrifice shall redeem me in the eyes of those who view me as a monster for the fic that's posted here. Or maybe I'm just infected with Sueness from contact with these.

21. Numb by love park reviews

  What if Rapses and his guardians didn't die in the battle against scarab...
  PG-13 - English - Angst/Horror - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2704 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 8-7-03 - Published: 7-22-03


Well, considering they lived before the birth of Christ, I'm pretty sure they'd still be pretty dead by now.

22. Robing a Bank by Nefer1

  After a hart fight, the mummies aren’t able to get the back. Therefore, they call Ra for help…
  G - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1182 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 7-2-03 - Published: 7-2-03


The various mockeries began a fistfight trying to get through my fingers and into the text file all at once.
Mockery 1: "The 'hart' thing! Say that the mummies were out watching forest quadrapeds battle to the death!"
Mockery 2: "No, no, the thing about 'the back'! Their backs fell off and they couldn't bend over to pick them up without back muscles!"
Mockery 3: "About calling Ra! Cell phone joke! 'Hi, Ra, how're you? Listen, we need a tow...'"
Insults were exchanged. Somebody said an ethnic slur. It all ended with hot hatesex on the floor, and wound up as bad Mockery slashfic on ff.net.

24. Unknown Memories by Sailor Elf reviews

  When an exhibit from Egypt arrives in San Fransisco, things turn up a notch as Scarab brings the vengeful mummy back to life and she's determined to finish what she started
  PG - English - Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2678 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 4-26-03 - Published: 4-26-03


Emerilfic! "Bam! We're gonna kick this Mary Sue up a notch!"

25. Time in time by Pyro Tear

  just...something i'm writing
  PG - English - Action/Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1534 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 4-24-03 - Published: 4-24-03


Well. That's... nice. o.o;;;

Oh god, and that's only page one. Of four.
Okay, from here on in, if it's JUST a Mary Sue/Badass Mary Sue, it doesn't rate mention. It's gonna have to be a stunning, wild Mary Sue of jaw-disconnecting proportions, or something really just ODD to get in here, or this is gonna go on forever.
(That, and I'm not sure how much more my weak physical form can endure.)

26. To Have and To Hold by Julie Horwitz reviews

  A mini-sequel to "Truth's Consequences". The mummies, Presley, and Amanda run out of money while on the run and decide to resupply in Las Vegas.
  PG-13 - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 38000 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 4-13-03 - Published: 4-13-03


This one rates a mention for just the sheer logical fallacy. Sure, we all know you can take money and parlay it into a LOT of money in Las Vegas, but that generally requires you to start with a fairly goodly amount first. Or... some. Y'know, not just walking in there with nothing, sitting down at the blackjack table, and saying "Give me a million bucks if I win. Now hit me."
Insert your own "hit me" joke here.

29. BoobALouBobby Meets the Mummies alive by Gwendolyn2 reviews

  ever have a person who you don't like hang out with you constantly and that person dosn't understand the fact you don't like them and you really want them to go away. That person is a Boob-A-Lou-Bobby and is time for payback... EGYPT-TSU STYLE ;D
  PG - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 332 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 4-10-03 - Published: 4-10-03


*blinks slowly*
Now... we all know what revengefic is, right? Characters taking revenge on other characters that have wronged them. Or, in some cases, on the fanfic authors who have wronged them. (Usually with the author in question writing the revengefic themselves.) But... what is this? Personal grudge fic? Fic written about someone that got on the author's nerves on some forum? An annoying reviewer? And they're having the mummies kick his ass as a way to say "Go away! Don' like you!"
I'd ask if there's anything more juvenile, but... well, I've been around long enough to know there is, so I won't.

34. The Arrogance of Love by RatheraMutemwiya reviews

  Rath/Scarab slash. A meeting of minds; a shared ambition; a threatened kingdom. New chapter as of January 6th 2003!
  PG-13 - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 6364 - Reviews: 36 - Updated: 1-6-03 - Published: 3-20-01


... Eek. I don't know if any of you reading even remember this series, let alone Scarab, but picture a cross between M. Bison, the hulking leader of Shadaloo, and Mr. Burns, decrepit megalomaniac of the Simpsons.
Think about that. Think about that, in any sort of sexual situation whatsoever. Know my fear.

37. new commer by wildwing

  A new guardian comes to join prince Rapses Guardians a priestess to the god ra and the goddess bastet
  PG - English - General/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1457 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 10-3-02 - Published: 10-3-02


This one gets a mention not even because of the Mary Sue, but the way in which the Mary Sue embodies so much of what's wrong with these sort of characters. This is the sort of Mary Sue that drives people nuts, that have people eyeing any original character with suspicion and annoyance.
First, there's the utter disregard for any actual realism. As far as I know, Egyptian priestesses pretty much picked a single deity, and stuck with it, they didn't CROSS-CLASS with their religion.
Second, there's the fact that she's a priestess of Ra, the god that all the other mummies worship above all others. This means that she automatically gets their respect and deference without having to work for it. It's the equivalent of giving your Mary Sue a higher rank, stronger powers, or closer connection to characters of influence than the canon ones.
Third, there's the Bastet thing. Bast/Bastet is popular amongst poseur squealy-girls, because she's a cat goddess. There's a lot of art out there done of her looking sexy and in pretty clothes, and that's as far as most of them take it. I don't know all that much about Bast, but I do know that most Egyptian gods were amazingly violent and generally had a bit more depth than "Oooo, pretty kitty."

38. Untitled by Kara Star reviews

  A SM/MA x-over. I post this for Liz(who is great writer). And I am just the bete-reader, So please R&R.
  G - English - General - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10118 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 9-15-02 - Published: 9-15-02


You know, first of all, bothering to come up with a title is one of those things that show you care about a fic. If you don't care about it enough to title it, why should people care enough about it to read it?
Then there's the fact that Sailor Moon and Mummies Alive! are even less compatible than Harry Potter. Sure, there's a certain similarity in the "monster of the week" department, but it's just such an enormous stretch to get them to interact that it's ridiculous almost on the face of it.

42. Who Am I? by JStreet reviews

  After a battle with Scarab, Presley is knocked out and has amnesia
  G - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1302 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 7-14-02 - Published: 7-14-02

43. Kindred Spirits by Daughter of Shaadi and Dartz reviews

  Nefertina has amnesia and Rath is desperate to help her. A young girl who is a close friend to Presley finds herself swept up into a world far beyond her wildest dreams, and is about to discover a long-kept secret that will change her life forever.
  G - English - General/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 16089 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 6-14-02 - Published: 6-12-02


These two I posted mostly for the amusement factor of two fics in a row with amnesia as their theme. The fact that one's a Mary Sue is just bonus.

47. Strange Things are Afoot by Raikana Sakaro reviews

  I'm back! I hope this turns out better than my last crossover. I'm really sorry about that one. Anyway, this is a LOTR/MA crossover, featuring my character.
  PG - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4422 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 2-18-02 - Published: 2-15-02


... Crossing over Lord of the Rings and Mummies Alive! is supposed to be an APOLOGY?! o.O Forget about my saying the other crossovers were implausible, they're downright logical in the face of -this-.

51. Jackals and Falcons by Kodora reviews

  Hmm. Well. Another SLASHY-LISCIOUS snippety Rhett story. It unfinished. Has a neat Egyptian flashback, though.
  PG-13 - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2409 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 1-13-02 - Published: 1-13-02


... "Slashy-liscious"? I'm not sure this author is quite old enough to be reading their own fics. I mean... well, just... "slashy-liscious". There y'go.

56. Nef's story by Whitecat reviews

  What if Nef had a brother who was angrey that they knew she was a woman & still worked in the palce.
  PG - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 217 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 12-14-01 - Published: 12-14-01


Angsty misogyny fic. Because why should yuri fandom have all the fun?

60. Gone by tigereve920 reviews

  They lose one of their own in battle. The tragedy causes a mummy to experience deep regret and lamentation.
  PG-13 - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1682 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 9-29-01 - Published: 9-29-01


Don't you love the subtlety going on, there? "You can't just tell people what the characters are feeling! That makes me angry!"

62. I'm a Mummy on a Mission by Celestra reviews

  ((Old work)) Nefertina's feelings come out in a song, which is a parody of "I'm A Genie In A Bottle" by Christina Aguilera. Oh dear Ra . . .
  G - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 591 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 8-23-01 - Published: 8-23-01


Oh dear Ra indeed. Though I suppose there's hope for that one being tongue-in-cheek. But it's still a Christina Aguilera songfic involving the living dead.

64. Bad Blood by Koishii-kun reviews

  Yet another Fanchar, this time Kah'shi - son to Pharaoh Amenhotep with a second wife. The first born son of the pharaoh lives a life as heir to the throne of all Egypt. Until Rapses is born...
  PG - English - General/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2527 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-21-01 - Published: 7-21-01


You know, I somehow can't help but picture Kah'shi as blonde, rat-faced, and having to keep from saying "Potter" instead of "Rapses" when he sneers.

66. Misguided Mummies by Lila-May Chanson reviews

  A mysterious Mummy keeps popping up unexpectedly. She is linked to Rath through a past that no one can seem to pry from her, for it could have devistating consequences on her life, and the mummies.
  PG-13 - English - General/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1749 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-16-01 - Published: 7-16-01


She's mys-teeeeeeeeer-ious! Ooooooeeeeeeeeeeoooooooo!

67. Race the Wind by Lacey reviews

  Come trip the light fantastic. Come race the wind. (Poem from Nef's POV)
  G - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 320 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 7-12-01 - Published: 7-12-01


... "Trip the light fantastic"? ... ... ... "Trip the light fantastic"?! o.O

68. Anniversary by tigereve920 reviews

  Angst. Vignette. Ja-Kal has a few drinks... R&R!
  PG-13 - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5084 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 7-11-01 - Published: 7-11-01


You know, I can kinda see that. He doesn't have a liver anymore, his tissues are dried up and would absorb alchol really well... sure, give the guy a couple of beers, he'd be pickled in no time.

81. A Meeting of Magi by RatheraMutemwiya reviews

  Scarab and a lady.... silly fluff, but when one can't get romance in the real world, one rights about it. The lady is Rathera, my fan char from other posted MA fics. Review if you are feeling generous!
  PG - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1769 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 1-4-01 - Published: 1-4-01


I'm left once more not quite knowing where to begin. The admittance that she's writing a Mary Sue because she's not getting any in real life? Misspelling "write"? The fact that she chose the aforementioned Bison/Burns hybrid to scratch her frustration-itch?

And that wraps it up for the G to PG-13 category. We're crossing the home stretch. Just gotta hit the R-rated ones, and we're done. Hold it together! Hold it together!

2. Dreams and Nightmares by miss lizz reviews

  Scarab discovers a new spell and it marks trouble for everyone. Please R&R.
  R - English - General - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7463 - Reviews: 16 - Updated: 6-1-04 - Published: 11-6-02


Scarab is stealing fanon-Shampoo's schtick. Aiya.

4. Truth's Consequences by Julie Horwitz reviews

  (Reposted) A Mummies Alive!/Xena: Warrior Princess crossover novel. My vision of how the series could have continued.
  R - English - Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 103040 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 4-13-03 - Published: 4-13-03


Just because I shouldn't have thought that the LotR crossover was the dumbest idea I'd heard for this series, I suppose.

6. The Scarab Saga by Lacey reviews

  Scarab first makes the decision to kill Rapses... though not for the reason most would expect. Chapter 4 added! Alliances are forged and the plot thickens!
  R - English - General - Chapters: 4 - Words: 15817 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 7-26-01 - Published: 1-8-01


That can't mean anything good. It's either a "lover scorned" thing, a "the bad guy is really the good guy" thing, or just a stupid thing.

Well, there you have it. A tiny, miniscule fandom that most have likely never even HEARD of, and yet it has such an amazing amount of suck packed into it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to take up drinking and drug use. x.x

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So utterly random, but your icon is amazing. <3

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